Alain Ducasse at The Dorchester

I genuinely couldn’t imagine what a “bad” Michelin 3-star meal could look like — perhaps a service issue, maybe poor value, or a couple of mediocre dishes. But I truly did not expect “not tasty” to be the theme that carried consistently through a two-hour meal. We ordered a bottle of water, and within minutes it was knocked over, followed by an unintentionally comedic “fishing it out of the table gap” moment. Throughout the meal, things that shouldn’t fall kept falling, and things that should fall — like the granita — refused to budge no matter how hard it was shaken. It was honestly a bit funny. I won’t comment on the petit snacks, so let’s start from the first course. Cucumber with almond and cured tuna heart — the granita had an extremely strong, almost dizzying aroma that was anything but refreshing. The only redeeming element was the fresh almond. Then came the scallop — normally a very hard ingredient to make bad, yet somehow this achieved it. The entire plate was covered with fresh seaweed and actual seawater; the smell of raw ocean hit instantly and completely killed my appetite. The lobster was decent quality, but the chef managed to make it taste surprisingly mediocre. It was supposedly paired with black truffle, yet only the side garnish carried any truffle aroma. The sauce itself leaned oily and heavy. Fast-forward ⏩ to the veal, easily the toughest I’ve ever had. Not tender, not juicy — nothing. It made me want to book a flight back to Singapore immediately just to eat the veal at Les Amis again. Just when I thought things were coming to an end, the chef found yet another way to surprise the guests: a cheese course. Cow’s milk and goat’s milk cheeses are fine, but including blue cheese on a fixed tasting menu is… questionable. The petit four felt like they were trying to wake the diners up with acidity — a lemon-chocolate bite and a blackberry tart, both intensely sour. I usually enjoy eating lemons on their own, and even I struggled. The space itself is beautiful, with lovely crystal curtains. The chef’s philosophy is admirable, and the service is acceptable. But honestly — could the food please be even slightly more enjoyable? Total: £337.02 Rating: 4/10 (Visited Sept. 2024)